Prince of the Sexblins
by Smittee
Summary: What if Jim Henson had chosen another to play the goblin king? How much could one person change such a world? What if that person was Prince, instead of Bowie?


**I do not own the characters of Labyrinth, nor am I sure I do not own Prince. This was written to entertain, not to profit. Yes, this is a crackfic. **

...

The Goblin King was nothing as expected by young Sarah. Sure, he had been handsome and cruel. Though, he was nothing like her story book had told her. Short curly hair and with a voice soft and light, he was probably a foot taller than her. His skin was tan, but very smooth. The white collar of his shirt showed under his black leather outfit. If she hadn't of been so worried for her brother Toby, she might have blushed.

He told her that her baby bother wouldn't become one of them, so to speak. His goblins were grayish skinned women, who looked to be in their late twenties. Though, that was all she could notice at the time. These women seemed to move quickly, though they were only a bit shorter than her.

No, this was no normal goblin kingdom. This was no ordinary goblin king. This one planned to make her brother age to thirty. From there he would either change into a sex maniac, a prostitute, or worse…A chauvinist pig.

…

Sarah, though finding herself scarred from the random finding of people having orgasms in the corners of the labyrinth, knew she must find her baby brother soon. Her only friend in the labyrinth so far was the only thing closest to what she had imagined a goblin to look like. His name was Hoggle. He mentioned how he was probably one of the only people not sex driven. It was probably because he was too busy lusting after jewelry.

Oh, did he love his jewelry. It was the only reason she was able to trust him now. She had taken his bag of jewelry and now walked through the greenest part of the labyrinth she had seen yet. All sorts of exotic flowers grew from its walls, spun and twirled through the bushes of the area. Sarah felt like she could almost stair at those flowers for hours. So, instead, she made conversation with Hoggle.

As they spoke happily, there came a large roaring ahead of them. Out of fear, Hoggle ran; leaving poor Sarah alone to face this danger. She called after him, but she already figured he wouldn't come back, whether she had his jewels or not.

Sucking in her fears, she slowly wandered towards this sound. As she grew closer, it was soon realized that this was no roaring. Peeking around the corner, she could not believe her eyes. A very tall, slender man was tied up nude and upside down. Red fiery hair covered his face, but she could swear there were horns peaking out of the mass of locks. The ropes moved and turned him slightly. There she could clearly see a red tail; one in which was being pulled upon by a goblin woman. She giggled as she continued to pull, paying no mind to the other two goblin women beside her. One had climbed the ropes and was rubbing at the very tip of his member teasingly. The other was nipping at the gold earring hanging from the bottom of his ear. Her hands held his hair back, so that she could continue to play with it easily.

One thing for sure, Sarah could not tell if the man was a groaning of pleasure or horror. 'Probably both,' she thought, gulping slightly. 'If there was only something I could throw…Perhaps distract them…?'

Another large moan came from him, and she heard something like stone hitting the ground behind her. Turning around, Sarah saw a palm size rock rolling towards her. A smile rose to her face. Picking it up, she aimed it right at the one hanging off of him. Bam! She hit to floor hard. She yelled at her companion, blaming her pain on her. The woman grew angry at the accusation, and so blamed it on the third. Soon, they were pulling and scratching at each other in rage. Sarah watched as they tried to run away from one another, heading far and away from the poor beast. 'Good riddance,' thought Sarah. Walking over, the man lashed out thinking that another one came up on him.

"Is that any way to treat your rescuer?"

He calmed down at her words. He stayed still as she started loosening the ropes. With one more tug, he landed on the ground. She apologized if she had hurt him. He shook his head, and spoke in a low voice.

"No. No hurt Ludo."

"Ludo? Is that your name," she asked.

Helping him back on his feet, she undid the ropes at his hand.

"Yes. Ludo. "

It didn't take long for her to realize that he wouldn't speak much. His broken English was clear to her that he did not speak very well. His hands finally free, she waited for him to straighten himself out a bit. Now she could see his face. There was a red goatee. Not to mention the strangest orange eyes she had ever seen. Large, tusk-like bottom teeth came out over his upper lip.

She stood there with him, trying to better understand the situation, not to mention seeing if she maybe she could have him as a fellow companion through the labyrinth. It wasn't that she was afraid. It just would be better to travel with someone, rather than alone. 'Especially how lustful this place is,' she thought to herself.

At last, they came to an agreement. They considered each other as friends, and soon they headed off to find another path towards the castle at the center of the labyrinth. He would protect her, as she had rescued him.

….

Hours seem to pass quickly. She was split up from Ludo for seconds, when she fell into a raunchy situation. Luckily, she was able to get away before anything happened to her. 'People that can take bits and pieces of their body off, and they use them for _that_?' She shivered in disgust, just thinking about it. Reunited soon after with Hoggle and Ludo, she met another being.

They were in need of passing the Bog of Eternal Bliss. While the name seems to state that you'd be in a blissful state the rest of your days, it's actually just water that looks a little on the 'creamy side'. Not exactly something anyone might want to step in.

There, they met the guard of the bog. His dog ears bounced a bit; surprised he had seen any company. Holding a long spear, he raised a brow and smirked. Top half looked of a man, but his bottom half was furrier and dog like. Not too long of fur, but enough to hide his…person. His tail wagged excitingly.

"Well, lassie. I dinnae expect such a person as ye self passin' through here. So, how about it? Care for a bit of time in the bush over there?"

Not even thinking really, Ludo kneed the dog creature hard.

"Ludo's friend! You no harass Sarah!"

The dog apologized for his demeanor. He just hadn't had any in slow long that even the knot holes in trees looked inviting.

"Sir Didymus is the name. I truly am sorry for my…abrupt behavior. I shoul'nae treated a lassie so. I am prepared to follow ye wherever ye go, until I work off my stupidity."

While she hadn't been too sure about letting him join with the group, she figured Ludo would just hurt him again… should he be foolish enough to make a move on her again.

Passing the swamp, Hoggle started acting quite strange, as if hiding something big from her. She decided to confront him about it.

"Hoggle, what's wrong?"

"Uh, nothing…. I just uh…uh.. I needed to give you something."

"A gift? For me? Hoggle that's so sweet-"

Hoggle shot a wisp of perfume from the small bottle in hand. Sarah quickly plopped to the floor. He apologized over and over again, soon running off like the coward he was.

…

What was wrong with her? As much as she tried to think about it, nothing seemed to fit. Where was she going? Where was she now? Dressed in noting but a white corset, Sarah started to blush. There were many around her. The area was almost a white blur, besides the lingerie the other people were wearing, and the large fountain in the center of it all. As she looked around, a familiar face kept popping up. She began to follow said face, only to find her too late each time.

Worry fell upon her. Who was this man? Would he be able to help her? Finally, the crowd cleared enough for her to see him. The only one still fully clothed, he lay sideways on the edge of the fountain, watching her with predatory eyes.

Tight cream pants, and wearing a very frilly shirt with purple vest, his eyes seem to call out to her the most. So different than what she was use to. While not only did they seem to dominate her thoughts, they also were pleading. He wanted her to see him. He wanted her to come to him. Forward she stepped, her heart fluttering.

She could feel heat pool between her legs. Trying to hide her embarrassment, she instead focused on the crowds around her. It was like they were watching. She should be more uncomfortable than this. Instead, it only brought her more arousal. Almost upon him now, he stood up and placed a hand on the side of her face. Sarah melted at the touch.

His arms wrapped around her, and music began to play. He held her close, rubbing his body up against hers. A slight moan escaped, and she bit her lip. The man merely smiled, and whispered softly in her ear.

"It's all right. It's just a natural feeling, as my feelings for you are."

His words were comforting, moving. She continued to dance with him, forgetting now about everything but them. His lips came close to hers, but never did touch. It was as if he respected her too much to do such a thing. That is, as of yet. It brought her peace. Comfort. Excitement. But… Something was wrong.

None of it felt real. It was like she was floating in a dream. Her attention was brought back to the others. That's when she noticed there were no other men. No men. Just tons of women. This bothered her, as if there was something big she was forgetting. Out of fear, she pulled away from him and began to run.

Mirrors? The walls were mirrors? The people were slowly drawings closer to her, as if they were panthers after the same prey. She looked around panicky. Her eye caught a metal chair. Smash! With the break of the walls, she began falling away from the seen, only to land in a pile of old, dirty magazines.

…

Now she really was in trouble. The lovely feeling from the strange place she had been was gone. All that was left were these new surrounding; porn magazines scattered about her. She had forgotten her name. She had forgotten her path. What else could she do but get up and try to find something familiar. The longer she wandered, the more she found herself looking at stacks and stacks of the dirty literature.

After a short time, she came across a doorway covered with a large cloth. Quickly going inside for clues, hope came back to her eyes. She recognized this room. Rushing over to her bed, she fell upon it as if nothing bad had happened. She stretched real big, enjoying the comfort. She had remembered her parents going out for a bit, and how she was wondering why they cruelly made her stay with her brother. She wanted to go out with friends, and maybe try to find a nice guy to get with. Though, she was so much unlike her friends. Still a virgin, she never really even released herself from her raging in fires, when they'd appear. She hadn't been completely oblivious, but she thought that such a thing might be… a little wrong. After all, the school system seemed to think it was.

'That face though…' An image of the dream person she had seen flashed before her thoughts. He had been so handsome, and seemed so kind. Even though he had been the only one still fully dressed, somehow that made him even more intriguing. Her mind began to race with fantasies about the man.

Heat pooled once more, and she blushed in embarrassment. Gulping slightly, her curiosity was starting to get the best of her. Lowering her hand, she rubbed on the outside of her jeans, over the aroused area. Oh, did that feel good. While it wasn't completely pleasing her, he was giving some sort of release. Her head turned from side to side, only to stop when a booklet caught her eyes. She stopped herself to grab said book and read the beginning passages to herself.

"Through dangers untold and hardships outnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle, beyond the goblin city, to take back the child that you have stolen…"

A book about a goblin king, and the child he would take away for the one he loved. The journey she would have to go on, to get her baby brother back.

"I remember…"

Standing up quickly, she rushed out of the room, and called out for her friends. There wasn't much time left! All but Hoggle showed up, as she would expect from the coward. He had betrayed her. Climbing up the largest stack of books she could find, she reached the top and hugged her friends tight. Not too far now, she could see the Goblin city. They were so close to their goal now.

…

They entered into the large gates of the city, only to soon be closed in on both side. Out of a hidden door in the wall, there came strolling in a very tall goblin. The goblin was actually male, and probably the only one that was in the entire kingdom. A collar was strapped onto his neck, and in hand he held a cat o' nine tails. Didymus charged towards the goblin.

_Crack! _

Didymus hid behind Sarah. He held firmly to his ears. The sound was too much for him to handle, and so instead knelt in fear and whimpered. Ludo then attacked, but kept getting forted back by the whip. He could take the pain, but it took him too long to recover to get close enough to stop the goblin's attacks. Sarah knew she wouldn't' be able to get close. She was a lot weaker than Ludo, and not fast enough to get through before the whip would strike.

'But, I have to get through! Toby's childhood depends on it!'

Just as she thought that, Hoggle jumped down from the top of the walls. He had climbed up, thinking he could catch up and apologize for what he had done. When he saw them in trouble, he knew he just had to help. It was the least he could do, after all.

Landing right on top of the goblin, he began whapping him in the head over and over again. The goblin began punching Hoggle in the leg, trying to get him to get off of him. Ludo took the chance and charged. Hoggle got off just in time for the goblin to be slammed against the wall. The goblin blinked a couple of times, before blacking out from it all. Everyone applauded Hoggle's new found bravery.

Ludo walked forward, pushing open the door to the goblin city. Within its walls, the city was swarming with goblins. All of them arms with riding crops. Sarah and the group did not like the odds at all. Ludo then realized the obvious answer. Groaning as loud as he could, boulders began rolling around the city. Goblins ran in terror of getting run over. Sarah hugged Ludo for his genius. It didn't take them long to finally reach the castle. The time had finally come, and Sarah knew what this would mean. She thanked them all for what they had done for her. She had to face Jareth alone.

…

Stairs. Lots of Stairs. Sarah had never seen so many stairs in her life. Some were upside down, while others were on the walls. Looking around, she heard a baby coo. There was Toby, playing with one of the glass balls that Jareth used to see through. She had to get to him! Running towards the first stairs going down, she stopped as Jareth appeared before her.

"Hello, Sarah. How nice to see you again."

"Jareth. I have come this far. I am going to take my brother back," she said, with strong determination.

"Sarah…"

In a swift movement, Jareth pinned Sarah against the wall. His hips grinded against hers; his lips close to her ear.

"Can't you see what you do to me? You've come this far, which shows that you are strong. Your once innocent eyes have seen my kingdom, and all things that happen with it, yet you keep to your goal. Your strength, your beauty… Everything about you makes me want you even more."

Sarah gulped. His closeness was making her feelings mixed. If she gave in to him, her brother would pay. If she didn't, would she regret never feeling this way; the way he was making her feel at this moment? Was it lust, or did he really intrigue her? Closing her eyes, she tried to figure it all out.

"Love me, Sarah. Be with me. I will be like a slave for you to do as you wish with." His lips moved to the crook of her neck. "Please, Sarah…"

Her eyes shot open, and she pushed him away.

"You have no power over me." With that, she jumped from the great height, to try and reach Toby. The stairs broke away, and all seemed to twirl and disperse around her. She fell to the ground with a large thud.

….

Sarah looked around. She was back home, below the stairwell. Relief fell upon her face, and she rushed upstairs to Toby's room. He was fast asleep in his crib. She knew all was safe now. Walking to her room, she sat down on her chair. While the journey had been horrific at times, she knew a part of her would miss that world. Ludo, Hoggle, Sir Didymus… She'd miss them all. Though, she was glad to be back home, where she could grow up and perhaps one day start her own family.

'My own family one day…' Her mind started to wander. The girl wondered what it would have been like, if she had chosen to stay with him.

Little did she know, the goblin king was watching from outside her window. He had taken the form of an owl, so that it would be easier to watch her from afar. No, he hadn't given up on her. He wouldn't. This was only the step into the doorway for him.


End file.
